A tale of my own

Just to start it off; this little story, as the title suggests, is more personal than other things I posted on here. It is merely for the reader to get a better idea of what I base things on, and why I do so.

Generally I want to try and avoid using my own or other people’s background as an analysis for present and future behaviour. I am a firm believer in the here and now when it comes to how a person is. A ‘negative’ background does not necessarily have to mean you are going to be a negative person, the opposite is equally true. People make their own lives, and external influences add on to that if you allow them to, whether positively or negatively.

Now, my background isn’t all that exciting, but how I behaved is interesting, for the purpose of this story that is. Nowadays people around me consider me to be a positive person, I myself think the same. A couple of years ago though, I had two sides. When in company of friends, family or other social groups, I was genuinely positive and seemingly happy, in public places not so much. Often when I left such groups and was on my own again, faced with whatever adolescent problem in front of me, I could get really a negative outlook on a lot of things. Walking through the city centre while people were shopping was mental torture for me, I disliked everything about it. Why? I cannot tell you with certainty now, either way, it was ridiculous. Back then I was relieved when I come back to the comforts of my home, and be able to lock myself up for a night of video games and movies. Nothing wrong with that on the face of it, but I used it to escape from reality.

Point being, masked while in company, I was a bitter person underneath. Getting agitated by the smallest and most ridiculous things. Granted, I was still growing up, it wasn’t until my early 20s that I started having a better outlook on things. The way I looked at things before would have eventually made me not a pleasant person to be around, to put it nicely.

My change started when I started attending university, the people I met and the whole student vibe was infectious, and I got hooked. During my study years I got to travel abroad for a year, living in Australia and the US for 5 months each. This changed a lot, I got a better look at the bigger picture, and how to enjoy life, from tiny to big experiences. Since I returned three years ago, I consciously decided to change myself for the better. I went on a sort of quest to improve myself, to be the best me I could be. There were goals, but no end. The process made me who I am today and accumulated in me deciding to try and teach this to others, that a change is always possible. That no matter what, there is always a positive spin in life. It is the cartwheel of progress that you have to hop into to start spinning.


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