The actual title, and that of my source, is ‘The Way of the Superior Man’ by David Deida. This book is not meant just for men however, (although some chapters are aimed at men) it´s man in general. This book is meant as a tranformation tool, or a set guidelines, to becoming a superior person. I’ve always remembered some of the lessons, and printed a couple of quotes which are stuck to my bedroom door. I went through it again before typing this post, just to see if I missed out on some. Either way, I want to address some of the quotes, and the ones that have helped me throughout the last couple of years.
Some are simple, others a bit more complicated. They address many different aspects of life, since I put down twelve of them, I won’t go through them all but rather select a few.
Enjoy your friends’ criticism.
It’s easy and quite common to wave away criticism, especially from your friends. You might want to prove to them that you know what you’re doing, and quickly wave away their opinion if it contradicts yours. With work, romance, exercise, games etc. everyone has their own way of doing certain things, and it is often hard to imagine a better way of doing it. Be open to this, ‘enjoy’ it, in the sense that your friends and family are most likely saying it with your best interest at heart. They’re not doing it to bring you down. Whenever I’m helping someone out in a situation, I try to present some downsides, or even present criticism. I tell them that if they give good counter arguments as to why they are doing it, or wouldn’t take my advice, I’ll leave it be. If they can’t, I ask them to reconsider. People around you will start realising that you are true, and where you’re coming from with your arguments or criticism. They will in time be more comfortable taking criticism, as well as giving you some. You both grow, win win.
The follow up is: Live with an open heart, even if it hurts.
Again, people appreciate someone who is true and sincere. A person who keeps things from you, or does not keep true to his thoughts and opinion, is hard to count on. Sometimes you might have to tell someone that they’re doing something wrong, or in fact if they’re doing something great. It works both ways. Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind, whether that’s positive or not. We tend to close up, hide or sulk when we are presented with bad news, or critique in any sort of way. Either this, or we get defensive. Instead, try to take it comes, stand up straight, take a confident pose and express what’s on your mind, (non) verbally. You can lose someone in a conversation, or their respect for you, without even speaking a word. Eye contact is also important, never stare away. A short time of being uncomfortable, or even hurt, does not compensate for a good, satisfied coping feeling afterwards. This takes practice, I still have plenty of situations where I’m not sure as to what I have to say, but regret not saying what I should have afterwards.
Do it for love.
You can’t go through this life alone, and even if you can, it’s not nearly as fullfilling as when you surround yourself with people you love, and who love you. Be it romantically or just friendly, you need love. Love is the simple most powerful human emotion, and can make you do great things. (Of course it can make you do stupid things as well, but for positivity’s sake let’s steer clear away from that.) Many of the things that have appeared on this blog can culminate to a loving and fullfilling life. Living with an open heart, being confident, sharing, being more positive in general. If people feel they can love you, then you can love yourself, and others, as well.
These are just some of the quotes, as I said I hold true to twelve in total, some of which I’ve used in earlier posts. And more will be used in future posts.
All in all, do it for love and show it.
What we change inwardly, will change outer reality.
(Plutarch – Greek philosopher and historian)